i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
no i haven't really read anything
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
which magnetises chains of pins
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
autonomy of learning
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.
lol yea
i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason
was it worth it
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
no like which do people call me
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
we can only engage in such a way
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
or never left
division of reality is straying away from it
i want to do that too
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
i have read not even 1 book
its good
abrar?
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.