division of reality is straying away from it
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
so the method has to be autonomous
currently
really i want the internet
you cannot feed someone truth
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak
i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
in a post. I want to be remembered
so at the end
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting
like first name
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.