We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

i really havent

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

December 2025

They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

2 (actually index). two is company

but i respect your search

Lift Analysis

and the fake qualifier

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

autonomy of learning

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext