"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I am below everything.

Today I felt like starting


She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

Rain, starting

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

no longer writing in the third person

Thank you, Jack

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.


i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

autonomy of learning

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

you have a beautiful account btw

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

13, H, grate

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.


a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you


I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

kind of mythopoesis

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24