much more tactility
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
all that is to say
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
idk
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
was it worth it
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
and the fake qualifier
i really havent
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
its performative
hiding from the rain
so at the end
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24