Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.


the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.


theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine

It Will Get Lighter

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

no longer writing in the third person

wait what is that

It Will Get Lighter

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting


December 2025

2 (actually index). two is company

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything