She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

...

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Style


Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

It Will Get Lighter

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

no longer writing in the third person

13, H, grate

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
"Put a blanket."

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

and the fake qualifier

autonomy of learning

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

i love it here

fw

we can only engage in such a way

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

so an active mazelike process