As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

you cannot feed someone truth

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

currently

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

magnetisation/form

so the method has to be autonomous

autonomy of learning

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

that looks like my instagram account

i have read not even 1 book

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

really i want the internet

but really the thing should be autonomous

bro i read nothing in my life

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

all that is to say

i was tempted to lie about my name

I Write Goodbye Letter

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

Better Lift

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

wait what is that

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me