nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

1

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

ahnaf abrar

all that is to say

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

magnetisation/form

thank you

isaac newton

autonomy of learning

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

like first name

feel you

its performative

i was tempted to lie about my name

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46