it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine

plato

lol

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

so the method has to be autonomous

abrar?

feel you

i was tempted to lie about my name

like first name

autonomy of learning

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book


Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Rain, starting

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

...


yeah

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

we need to be deconstructing our identities

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

not their contents

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

yes

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

Today I felt like starting