We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

It Will Get Lighter

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

1

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Rain, starting

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out. 

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This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

no longer writing in the third person

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

IWGD

"No, it'll get cold!" "Put a tut ahh put a-"

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Better Lift

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Today I felt like starting

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

"Put a blanket."

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

in a post. I want to be remembered