i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
hiding from the rain
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
but really the thing should be autonomous
brb i will read and reply sincerely
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
"Put a blanket."
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
but i respect your search
no longer writing in the third person
Can I see
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue