My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

It Will Get Lighter

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

"No, it'll get cold!" "Put a tut ahh put a-"

Better Lift

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

autonomy of learning

we need to be deconstructing our identities


it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

no longer writing in the third person

FOUNDING DOCUMENT

and so on. not wanting the rhyming / clanging

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

propensity within someone

like first name

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

i was tempted to lie about my name

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

have you read

December 2025

its good short few pages

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.