There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

what do you mean

i really havent

autonomy of learning

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

was it worth it

I Write Goodbye Letter

its performative

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

so the method has to be autonomous

magnetisation/form

i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls

division of reality is straying away from it

as in

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

all that is to say

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

It Will Get Lighter

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them