as in
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Better Lift
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
...
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
you cannot feed someone truth
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
no longer writing in the third person
magnetisation/form
i want to do that too
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
ahnaf abrar
i love it here
no like which do people call me
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me