Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

isaac newton

feel you

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

Rain, starting

        13       |
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            H   |
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so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

we can only engage in such a way

2 (actually index). two is company

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

send link

i see a website

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

hello reader,

i have read not even 1 book

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I Write Goodbye Letter

After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.

really i want the internet

part of an old note. It will get lighter.