it is hopeful

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

Today I felt like starting

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

hiding from the rain

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

much more tactility

its performative

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

magnetisation/form

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

we need to be deconstructing our identities

as in

i dont understand magnetisation

isaac

idk

you cannot feed someone truth

lol

i was tempted to lie about my name

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

plato

was it worth it

i understand

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i want to do that too

so an active mazelike process

what do you think my name is

not their contents

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

confused - is it the tide or its absense? I still like where I was going with it. anyway, real reader know this site is the note.