I am below everything.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.


Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

its performative

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

was it worth it

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

isaac

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

magnetisation basically means the induction of divine form unto you

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Picture

autonomy of learning

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

plato

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yeah

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

all that is to say

hello reader,

It Will Get Lighter

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

i really havent

like first name

wait what is that

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.