I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Worse Lift

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

i really havent

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Style

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Better Lift

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

abrar?

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I am below everything.

so an active mazelike process

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things