As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
in a post. I want to be remembered
Today I felt like starting
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.