think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream
education now
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
It Will Get Lighter
Worse Lift
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just
their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them
in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's
using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their
voices are betraying them.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen.
I go inside.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media,
both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
we can only engage in such a way
no longer writing in the third person
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and
impulsively.
how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the
excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned
and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre
of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
