It Will Get Lighter

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i was tempted to lie about my name

ahnaf abrar

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

send link

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

like first name

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos