We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes. The conversation drifts to the pleasantness of warm lighting and whether anyone needs a smart home. I interrupt her to make a joke about the French Raj as he runs up the causeway. We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.

13, H, grate

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Today I felt like starting

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

it is hopeful

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

"Put a blanket."

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

It Will Get Lighter

much more tactility

---

but really the thing should be autonomous

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Better Lift

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Better Lift

kind of mythopoesis

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

was it worth it

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

god being the centre magnet

isaac