It Will Get Lighter

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Style

sorry i am texting like a slav

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

Picture

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

not so on: yvf(wthw)

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

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"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

that looks like my instagram account

so an active mazelike process

propensity within someone

division of reality is straying away from it

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

autonomy of learning

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

we want to live the knowledge too live the content

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class