My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

"Put a blanket."

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

It Will Get Lighter

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

but i respect your search

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

December 2025

really i want the internet

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

it is hopeful

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

you have a beautiful account btw

ahnaf abrar

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class