Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc."No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
hiding from the rain
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
"Put a blanket."
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.no longer writing in the third person
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24