The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

no longer writing in the third person

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

its performative

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

you cannot feed someone truth

I am below everything.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

your feed looks like my tumblr

you have a beautiful account btw

it is hopeful

its good

It Will Get Lighter

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

Better Lift

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

bro i read nothing in my life

idk

and the fake qualifier