He was a proper old-fashioned London geezer (cringe word, hate it, can't think of a better one, worst of all it's the correct word), kind of East Endy, kind of Real London, the kind you don't really meet but if you do it always feels like an uncanny immersive theatre experience. They're anachronistic. They only belong in the London collectively imagined by people who don't spend any time in it.

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

we need to be deconstructing our identities

that looks like my instagram account

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

Rain, starting

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

abrar?

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

like first name

much more tactility

...

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46


Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

plato

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos