it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

its performative

so the method has to be autonomous

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

lol

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

or never left

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

ahnaf abrar

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

yeah

sorry i am texting like a slav