so at the end
currently
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
we need to be deconstructing our identities
which magnetises chains of pins
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
i dont understand magnetisation
autonomy of learning