It Will Get Lighter

barren land

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Today I felt like starting

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

hiding from the rain

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

"Put a blanket."

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

IWGD

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after dusk, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

no longer writing in the third person

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

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I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

Style

Picture

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

much more tactility