idk

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

Rain, starting

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

and the fake qualifier

the site i am dreaming

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

...

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game engine