i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

no longer writing in the third person

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.