it is hopeful

Style

its performative

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Rain, starting

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

Picture

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Today I felt like starting

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

currently

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.