Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

bro i read nothing in my life

i dont understand magnetisation

lol

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

its good

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) is emptying his pockets, searching for the silver rizlas he apparently has. He refuses to take one of mine (also silver) because the tobacco I'm giving him is already too much to ask. He tells me about the guy who can do 50g of Golden Virginia for a good price, the guy who every other man over 50 knows. I'm not interested.

And thank you for telling me that the manner in which the narrator consistently fails to act morally is really compelling. Fuck you.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

no like which do people call me

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

much more tactility

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

...

your feed looks like my tumblr

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

all that is to say

no i haven't really read anything

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

so an active mazelike process

currently