but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

no longer writing in the third person

"Put a blanket."

Picture

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Today I felt like starting

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

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Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

hiding from the rain

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

in a post. I want to be remembered

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

13, H, grate