no longer writing in the third person


i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

Rain, starting


amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

we can only engage in such a way

as in

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Better Lift


Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

much more tactility

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Worse Lift

you have a beautiful account btw

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

so an active mazelike process

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.

its performative


As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

magnetisation/form

hello reader,

not so on: yvf(wthw)

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

currently