not so on: yvf(wthw)

i really havent

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

was it worth it

bro i read nothing in my life

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

It Will Get Lighter

was it worth it

...

no like which do people call me

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.


its good

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine

Thank you, Jack

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

...

Thank you, Jack
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

no longer writing in the third person

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.