13, H, grate

Picture

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Style


i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

and the fake qualifier

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.


It Will Get Lighter

yeah

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

much more tactility


I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

barren land

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

i love it here

i was tempted to lie about my name

god being the centre magnet

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

feel you

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

no like which do people call me

magnetisation/form

not their contents

its good short few pages

i guess imagine a multimedia obsidian or notion that behaves according to some insane arcane rules that you can't ever really determine


so an active mazelike process

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

ahnaf abrar

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46