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currently
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
no longer writing in the third person
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
bro i read nothing in my life
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
was it worth it
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
which magnetises chains of pins
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.