We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of
some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
Today I felt like starting
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned
and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre
of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing
with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
,
something washing, cleansing, revealing,
etc.
really i want the internet
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent
real but its very manifestation
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
no i haven't really read anything
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate,
but I can't
really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
,
I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my
silmarillion, my tempelos
