"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites
my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen.
I go inside.
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
no longer writing in the third person
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just
their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them
in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's
using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their
voices are betraying them.
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about...
whatever
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was
HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality
should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through
it. like classic hypertext
Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life
