Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

was it worth it

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

as in

"Put a blanket."

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

so the method has to be autonomous

its performative

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

It Will Get Lighter

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless? 

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"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."