the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

Lift Analysis

Better Lift

        13       |
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            H   |
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. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
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Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

no longer writing in the third person


in a post. I want to be remembered

yes

so at the end

Can I see

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

its performative

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

abrar?

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

i dont understand magnetisation

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models