There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Worse Lift

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

"Put a blanket."

Can I see

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

not their contents

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

division of reality is straying away from it

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

magnetisation/form

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

13, H, grate

you cannot feed someone truth

as in

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

idk

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

lol

so the method has to be autonomous

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.