what do you mean

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

        13       |
                |
                |
            H   |
                |
                |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
. . . .         |
                |

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.


She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Rain, starting

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

in a post. I want to be remembered

13, H, grate

"No, it'll get cold!" "Put a tut ahh put a-"

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

no longer writing in the third person

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet


the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

as in

all that is to say

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

you cannot feed someone truth

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.