i really havent

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

not their contents


think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

currently

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

and the fake qualifier

we need to be deconstructing our identities

1

December 2025

Slug

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.