Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
no longer writing in the third person
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc."I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.propensity within someone
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
you have a beautiful account btw
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46