no longer writing in the third person

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

Worse Lift

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

It Will Get Lighter

it is hopeful

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

It's

dusk

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

currently

This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Rain, starting

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

i dont understand magnetisation

i understand

I am below everything.

Picture

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

sorry i am texting like a slav

no i haven't really read anything

yeah

"Put a blanket."

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

IWGD

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

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