My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

Rain, starting

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

13, H, grate


I am below everything.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl

Worse Lift

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Windrush Art Kid Oligarch

in a post. I want to be remembered

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

Picture

Better Lift

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

Today I felt like starting

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

1

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

Better Lift

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

that looks like my instagram account

god being the centre magnet

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it